Somewhere Only We Know
by Pathetic Tomato
Summary: Artemis tries to create a potion to controll puberty and falls in love with Holly.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first ever story! Please no mean comments. I will accept constructive criticism though. I do not own Artemis Fowl or any of Eoin Colfer's wonderful ideas. _

**Fowl Manor **

It was cold and balmy on the grounds of Fowl Manor but its young master, Artemis Fowl the II paid no attention to the weather. He was thinking about what had happened a couple months ago (2 months, 13 days, 11 hours, 23 minutes, and 37 seconds to be exact) when he had caught Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon. He couldn't stop thinking about her and how she had been audacious enough to punch him in the face, even months later he still blushed scarlet from the memory. It was the first time anyone had ever been able to lay a finger on him and it was surprising when she had done it.

His voice he had noticed recently had cracked and he kept getting distracted by every pretty girl he saw and he wasted valuable time that could have been used for plotting his next scheme. No matter where he was or what he was doing at random times Captain Short's face would pop into his head. He was quite frustrated with himself on not controlling his own mind.

The young boy did not realize it but the path he was walking on just happened to be the one that he had walked to capture Captain Short. He wondered what she was doing right then and if she was thinking about him."D'arvit" he said to himself there I go again. He was getting tired of her popping into his head by now and started toward the house to do some research to see if he could do something about controlling his urges.

Back in his office and in front of his computer he pushed the intercom button and asked Butler to bring him up a cup of tea. Then he booted up the computer and logged on using his password: Aurum Potestas est (Gold is Power) and opened up the web and searched and looked up "how to control puberty". To his dismay there were only about 20 hits and they all said the same thing "There is no way to control puberty." He let out a small growl just as Butler stepped in the office to give his young master his cup of tea.

"What is wrong Artemis?" the large man asked.

"The Internet s saying that there is no way to control puberty. I however say that it is possible with the right technology." Said the raven-haired boy.

Butler had seen that look in his eyes many a time and knew only too well what it meant. Artemis was going to try and use fairy technology to try and control his puberty. Butler knew that it was a losing battle but knew better than to argue with Artemis. He remembered only too well the first and only time that he had said something like that he got his pay slashed 75% for 2 months. He hadn't been eager to have that happen in a hurry. He just let the boy talk and gave the boy his tea afterwards even though by the time he had finished talking it was stone cold. After he had finished his tea he whipped out his phone (made out of confiscated LEP helmets) and called up Holly and Foaly for a conference video chat.

"Holly speaking who is this? Said the fairy.

"It's Artemis."

Without knowing that she was on video chat just yet her face absolutely lit up like the Christmas tree they always put up every year (it had about 30,000 different strings of lights on it) and quickly started putting on some make-up and fixing her hair with the communicator between her shoulder and ear but gave the perfect viewing opportunity for Artemis to see the cause of the slight clatters, clunks and sounds of a comb hitting scalp. Fortunately when she started to change into something more interesting she had the screen of her communicator smashed against her bedspread. As an effect of this she didn't hear the laughter that burst from the phone as Foaly joined the call and he asked what was going on with Artemis and Butler looking as if they were about to fall over from the peals of girlish giggling coming from them and Butler informed him about the situation between gasping breaths while the boy behind him continued to howl with laughter in the background.

By the time Holly picked the phone back up the laughter had subsided and they were all neutral faced again. Holly took the phone from her next to ear to put him on chat and was surprised to see him, Butler and Foaly looking at her. She started and blushed until her face was redder than the tank top she was wearing with a pair of extremely skin tight jeans that was obvious she had just put on.

"Well, it's nice to know that you like to look good for me Ms. Short." Said Artemis with a tone that was obvious that he was trying not to dissolve into heaps of laughter.

"I was on video chat the entire time wasn't I?" said the madly blushing fairy.

"Yes you most definitely were and it was being recorded as well." Said Foaly in the same sort of tone that Artemis had used.

"D'arvit" she said to herself. Quickly recovering though she said "So what international incident has happened that is about to expose the existence of fairies has happened now Butler."

"None. Young Master Artemis wanted to ask you both a question." Said Butler

Foaly's eyebrows shot up at this. He evidently was suspicious of Fowl. He had good reason though after what Artemis had done he wasn't surprised. After Artemis had explained the plan Foaly and Holly had identical looks of disbelief on their faces.

"It can't be done Artemis. Obviously you are smart enough to realize that. Said Holly.

"It can though I just need to use your technology to find a way to create a concoction to stop these random urges." Said the boy with great superiority in his voice.

"Well at least I know that you think about me" said the fairy with a note of smugness in her voice.

"Whatever, back to the task at hand Holly will need to get the okay from you and Foaly to use the lab equipment. So may I use the labs for my project? Said Artemis in a slightly dismissive tone at the previous comment from the feisty little fairy.

"I say yes to it if only because it gives me time to spend with you." Said Holly with not a note of sarcasm.

"Sure." Said the centaur.

"Alright now can you guys be able to get me a visa? Said the boy with a slight note of glee in his voice."

"Yes I can Mud Boy. Said Foaly.


	2. Chapter 2

_Holly: You don't own Artemis Fowl._

_Me: You don't either. Eoin Colfer does._

**Tara Shuttleport**

Artemis and Butler stood waiting for Holly and Foaly to come and give them their visas.

"It is very cold out here Butler." Said the boy impatiently.

"Yes but it will be worth it Young Artemis." The burly man said.

A few moments later Holly and Foaly arrived.

"Finally you have arrived." Said an irritable Artemis.

"Well then I guess you don't want you're visas now. Retorted the feisty fairy.

"No! We have waited here for an hour and are not about to go back empty handed." Said Artemis with a slight shiver in his voice as if the sharp February wind was in his voice.

"Fine, fine, don't get snippy with me now or I toss the visas down the chute." Said the irritated centaur.

"Okay let's not get drastic here." Said Butler with a note of urgency in his voice. Foaly smiled knowing that he had a bit more power than the body guard.

"Let's get this over with I think that my toes are getting numb." Said Holly while her teeth chattered to the verge of shattering.

Here take this." Said the pale boy as he offered a coat to her. She took it gratefully and smiled in his direction. _Wow he is rather nice right now. I'd better keep an eye on him until they get onto human soil again. _

"Are we going to stand here and become icicles or what?" said the boy in the voice that she recognized as his getting impatient.

"We're going now actually so we can avoid the next magma flare and have to wait for even longer." Said Foaly.

**Haven**

"It is nice to be able to feel my appendages again "Said Artemis after they got back to the underground city and went back to the labs with Foaly to start working on what Butler, Holly, and Foaly thought was a waste of time.

"So where will we start on the potion?" Asked Artemis when they had gotten in the lab and put on their coats.

"I thought we should start with a DNA sample from you Artemis since it is your body that the potion will be specific to."

"Sounds good to me." Replied Artemis.

"You're acting strangely right now Mud Boy." Said Foaly.

"As opposed to what? When I acted like a complete jerk when I captured you?" Said Artemis "I can't see that as being a problem unless you preferred me as a pompous idiot?"

After they had gotten the sample that they needed they started trying different concoctions to try out on Artemis.

"Well I found a way to make you grow faster." Said Foaly as he tried a couple of chemicals on a small sample from the one they had duplicated so they didn't have to take more than they needed from Artemis.

"Do you mind being purple?" Said Holly as she tried 2 small vials of a blue and yellow liquid in the test tube with the DNA.

"Why would I want purple skin Holly? Really I thought that you were smarter than something like that." Said Artemis reproachfully.

"Well sorry but I'm just trying to help. "Said Holly defensively.

"Yes Master Artemis you should listen to her she knows what is important." Said Butler. For a man his size to sound like a small frail old monk was slightly surprising to Artemis. _Whenever he does that it makes me nervous. He normally doesn't act like this maybe the People are starting to get to him. I'll have to keep an eye on that._ Thought the raven-haired boy.

"I'm getting tired could I possibly go to sleep now I really am dead on my feet." Said Foaly after it felt as though they had been working for hours with no prevail.

"Sure Foaly we should all get some sleep and start again in the morning." Said Artemis in a tone that was most unlike him.

"Artemis and Butler are **NOT** staying with me!" said the tired centaur.

"Fine they can stay with me." Said Holly trying to hide the glee from them.

Once they were back at Holly's apartment Artemis and Butler decided that Artemis would crash on the couch and Butler would be next to the coffee table.

"Good night."

They said to each other as their eyes slid closed and they drifted off into dreamland.


End file.
